A Faith Reignited

Because sometimes... the truth isn't good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.- The Dark Knight

Having lived in an isolated township during most of my nascent years, a movie theatre was a novel experience for me. Indeed, the right paths were laid when the first movie I saw in a theatre was at the then dilapidated ‘Jwala Talkies, Agra’ in the form of Mithun da’s ‘Cheetah’(Awesomeness-101). And those were indeed the golden years. Who says Bollywood was at its crappiest worst in the mid 90’s!! It gave India a whole generation of people ready to spread their arms in the middle of mustard fields and idolized Akshay Kumar in his now forgotten avatar of kicking (as rumour then had it) Undertaker’s bad white ass. And a big ‘Up Yours’ to anyone who derides the music. For fuck’s sake ‘Prem ki naiyya hai raam ke bharose’ is positively constipating. So I am, maybe, ranting because of my own personal connection but what am I supposed to feel if after watching Mithun da jerk the steering wheel of the gypsy and making it fly for 5 kms,I actually thought it possible for a further 2 more years by which time I had turned eight!! And this is when people while recounting the so called horrible period, forget movies like Rangeela, Andaaz Apna Apna and Baazigar ( templates for any streetside story, comedy, thriller respectively nowadays.)

Then it all started going downhill. While Switzerland was okay for a couple of song sequences thereby reflecting the ultimate dream of having your honeymoon under those beautiful mountains, something didn’t really click when people started having whole houses and families setup there. When in 2001 Hrithik Roshan’s fatty-go-hunky in 3kg said ‘London!’ after hearing of his brother having shifted base to the said city, things had reached an all-time low. And unfortunately, more of that was to follow, right from ‘Mujhse Dosti Karoge’ to ‘I abhor Love Stories’, the production houses just about made their money back by billing huge starcasts and shooting at exotic locales. The RDB's or 3 Idiots' were interspersed here and there which had their respective reasons for success.

Meanwhile, the move watching junta had slowly and steadily divided into a variety of niche groups. The people who had entirely given up on Bollywood were hated for their noveu riche attitude whereas, the vast underbelly of the Indian population still thronged to the traditional ‘dhishum dhishum’ experiences. Until now, that is.

‘Rewind to the golden era’ should have been the tagline to Dabangg. I’ll jot down the review in the form of a notice sent out by the DOSW’s office:

NOTICE

General Awesomeness Observed

1. Whereas Dabangg was found guilty of objectifying women, a trend of vital importance in the history of Indian cinema.
2. Whereas Dabangg had the most clichéd dialogue in the history of cinema : “Mujhse anjaane mein bahut badi galti ho gayi!”
3. Whereas Dabangg restored the age-old stormtrooper effect (meaning the bad guys always miss) to its past glorious heights.
4. Whereas it was found, Salman Khan through the ‘ripping by flexing’ manoeuvre had asked Hrithik to kiss his macho ass goodbye.
5. Whereas the movie managed to launch another girl next door role with aplomb, while the original sultriness herself, Dimple Kapadia was used to remind audiences of what Nirupa Roy had been in her glory years.

As a result of aforementioned clauses, it is deemed that Dabangg has been successful in catering to the awesomeness starved audience of India.

Signed

Chief Inspecting Officer (Department of Awesomeness)