The Euro is proving everyone wrong. For all those who say the European art of playing the beautiful game is too physical, I have just two words: “Up Yours!”. If the first three days are anything to go by, most of the big guns have done predictably with the player extraordinaire Ronaldo starting from where he left off. My prediction: I think this year is going be orange with The Netherlands going the distance.
I could bore to death the non-footballing junta but my blog is painful to deal with as it is so I think I’ll shift to more mundane areas.
We always ponder upon the thought that how can something make sense to anybody when it seems like horsepuke to us. (The s-word avoided due to obvious reasons. I am popular with the kids you see!) To some it is football too, I accept. (Poor deluded souls!) To some it is Scrubs. (Poorer deluded souls!) But for me it has to be the “reality” shows.
Unfortunately, I had to endure my way through half an hour of one of them when I went to watch the opening match of Euro-08. The show was called “Jo Jeeta Wahi Superstar” hosted by Miss Mandira (noodle strap) Bedi. The astute analyst that yours truly is, he compiled the following points that seem to be followed akin to the Holy Bible by the “reality” shows. Here’s your 7-way guide to make a superhit “reality” show:
1) Get a hot chick to host the show. (Sorry kids, you had to grow up some day!)
2) Get a couple of celebrity judges even if they know as much about the skill involved as Paris Hilton does about the concept of privacy. (BeeTeeW , her latest comment to the paparazzi: I’m no dumb blonde!)
3) Pick up a couple of hundred jobless souls to make an audience in the studio.
4) Make them dance even if it is a contest of classical singing.
5) Get the judges to make some “shocking” comments and back it up with the “shocking” background music.
6) Give a tonne of glycerine to everyone involved (including the audience) except the losing contestant, so that everyone is crying except the one who loses or is k.o.-ed!
7) Don’t forget to make the judges dance at the end of the episode to a hit number. That increases the PR quotient.
and Voila! You have your own hit “reality” show.
p.s. Its so much fun to type ““reality””.
4 comments:
Well, if your show was on a certain 'Youth-istaan' channel, though (copyrights issues avoided), your show would also feature a few catfights, lots of abuses being hurled and some dumb himbos and bimbos proclaiming to be the representatives of the 'youth of the nation'. Yeh hai DUMB-istaan meri jaan!
@ the perverted game...
yeah of course, the R-land version of the show would be for adults only with the catch being that the contestant who is k.o.-ed will have to endure an hour among the litters!
(that makes hanging look like the good old timeout doesnt it?)
As and when you get started with thhe show, I'd love to help you with selection of the hot compere. I'm a true friend, you see.
I love the Spanish squad thouh Aragones might pull them down. What kind of a coach keeps Cesc Fabregas on the bench?
@dela
of course fellow jedi!
yeah my blog was one day early....spain literally assaulted the russians.
as about cesc, i thought the plan worked out brilliantly as when they had gone 2-0 up, he held the game brillia-o-ntly in the midfield...but yeah 9 out of 10 coaches would have him in the starting 11.
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