Its two days to end sems and unfortunately,it comes with the purchase of every moronic brain that highly stupid ideas are bound to strike you when time is of utmost importance.
So it was on this highly studious afternoon that morons had their latest brainstorm......a marathon game of cricket to be played in the Jawahar lawns.
So with a quickness that would defy the quickness of the quick return mechanism(i HAVE been studying Kinematics of Machines,u see)a bat and a ball were arranged and around 14 of the most lethal brains of the institute gathered on the battlefield.
Ninja and I became the captains(actually no-one gave a damn asto who the captain was,they just wanted to hit some balls,if u know what i mean!!!!)and divided the players.I won the "Tip-Top" toss and remembered Geoff Boycott's golden words-"Win the toss,bat first".
And bat we did.We made "ab tak" 56 runs,mostly courtesy Mohit Mutthal who was hitting the ball so hard,one might actually think he was imagining ME as the ball(i trash him that much,u see) and then we bowled out the pathetic opposition for an equally pathetic 25 odd runs that too courtesy Mohit's bowling which had in it the speed of Warne and the guile of a Shoaib's beamer.......
Unfortunately i had shouted(in a state of euphoria,actually im always in a state of Euphoria)at the beginning of the match:"JO HAREGA WOH JEETEGA!!!!"
As a result we had to forfeit the next match's first batting to THEM,a fact that did not go down well with my teammates.
Newaz the match was truly,madly and deeply a nail biter when our beloved Gaandey hit the winning run of the very last ball of the alloted 10 overs and we shouted to the applause of the whole hostel who hadnt seen that entertaining a match ever:"F**K DE INDIA!!!!"
As for my contribution,i'll just be modest and say the following:
First match-3 runs,2 dropped catches and 10 runs conceded in one over.
Second match-6 runs,1 dropped catch and 10 runs conceded in one over.
BUTT,the team counts and "JEET GAYE........................"
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
MORONS RELOADED!!!!
It hit me rcently that i had not made aware the world about the recent developments in the moron world........for all who have not been infatuated by the term.......i suggest they consult their doctors for symptoms of .....i dunno.....maybe human-ness?.......never mind i will now undertake the mammoth task of listing all the morons in alphabetical order.....
P.S.-fasten just ur belts,ur pants might fall!!!!!
1)Abhinav Gaandey:Probabaly the most potent weapon of mass destruction to come out from the factories of the PJ world.His jokes(as he calls them)make u want to jump from the second floor or worse (as he suuggested)eat some poison and then jump!!!!His walk is considered by some to be more feminine than Miss Rai herself as is his sense of humour by the way,which perenially threatens R-world as the bubonic plague had the whole world.
2)Abijeet aka chuchijeet:I dont want to trash him too much as the aforementioned is the latest in the string of the barely surviving who had to endure attacks by a certain PJ cracking and intelligence sucking vampire.But he must know that to associate oneself with me is no less of a mortal danger so here i go.........
Oh shit.......as soon as i remember his name i forget everything else including where all my copies and.......... damn.......i have forgotten what i have forgotten.......
3)Chaudhary Ch**anya Krishna reddy(I wont blame u if u have fallen into a slumber after reading the immensely long name and this immensely long bracket to go with it):The haddu of our group and a fellow grade pointer also the politician trying to follow the footsteps of chandra babu naidu excepts he keeps losing.....when last seen in the class(it was maybe a couple of months back)he confided in me his secret desire to watch every movie ever made........after that conversation none has seen or heard of him.......but strange and muffled voices do come from his room giving one a highly spooky feeling and last weekend trash weighing over a tonne was seized from his room.
4)Joey:Mere ko samajh mein nahin aa rahe mai kya likhun.......mei jo bolta hai mere munh se ulta nikalta hai......as u can see,the part of my brain which controls the speech area has gone on vacation to Kerala and wont be back for 2 yrs more.....
5)Mohit M**tthal:The more said,the less for this guy and he might put me in MUTTHAL danger if i go ahead and suck out whatever remains of his highly depleted amount of self respect,but still ill still go ahead and trash him like any another day(he's our favourite punchbag u see)!!!!!
He can be only heard saying this nowadays "abe yaar,mai waise hi depress rehta hoo ........aur depress mat karo" to which we reply in our usual 'we dont give a mutthal's ass' tone:"Muutthal!!!!!!!!!!"
6)Shubbu ,the ran**:The favourite and the most sought after maal of the institute with his/her trademark walks and jhatkaas.Complaints have been received regarding low customer satisfaction but they are blatantly turned a blind eye to and the business proceeds as usual with overtime being done nowadays due to some expenses incurred(namely the REGOL fine)
7)Sushi:Men describe him as their ideal,women call him the best thing that has ever happened to them.But he goes on fully aware that the slightest compalcency will render the world at the mercy of the 6 abovementioned nukes.Infact so great is his greatness that he refuses to put water on the body for weeks at a time,a fact that does not go down well with the mortal souls who dwell with him.............hail the LONE RANGER!!!!!!!
P.S.-fasten just ur belts,ur pants might fall!!!!!
1)Abhinav Gaandey:Probabaly the most potent weapon of mass destruction to come out from the factories of the PJ world.His jokes(as he calls them)make u want to jump from the second floor or worse (as he suuggested)eat some poison and then jump!!!!His walk is considered by some to be more feminine than Miss Rai herself as is his sense of humour by the way,which perenially threatens R-world as the bubonic plague had the whole world.
2)Abijeet aka chuchijeet:I dont want to trash him too much as the aforementioned is the latest in the string of the barely surviving who had to endure attacks by a certain PJ cracking and intelligence sucking vampire.But he must know that to associate oneself with me is no less of a mortal danger so here i go.........
Oh shit.......as soon as i remember his name i forget everything else including where all my copies and.......... damn.......i have forgotten what i have forgotten.......
3)Chaudhary Ch**anya Krishna reddy(I wont blame u if u have fallen into a slumber after reading the immensely long name and this immensely long bracket to go with it):The haddu of our group and a fellow grade pointer also the politician trying to follow the footsteps of chandra babu naidu excepts he keeps losing.....when last seen in the class(it was maybe a couple of months back)he confided in me his secret desire to watch every movie ever made........after that conversation none has seen or heard of him.......but strange and muffled voices do come from his room giving one a highly spooky feeling and last weekend trash weighing over a tonne was seized from his room.
4)Joey:Mere ko samajh mein nahin aa rahe mai kya likhun.......mei jo bolta hai mere munh se ulta nikalta hai......as u can see,the part of my brain which controls the speech area has gone on vacation to Kerala and wont be back for 2 yrs more.....
5)Mohit M**tthal:The more said,the less for this guy and he might put me in MUTTHAL danger if i go ahead and suck out whatever remains of his highly depleted amount of self respect,but still ill still go ahead and trash him like any another day(he's our favourite punchbag u see)!!!!!
He can be only heard saying this nowadays "abe yaar,mai waise hi depress rehta hoo ........aur depress mat karo" to which we reply in our usual 'we dont give a mutthal's ass' tone:"Muutthal!!!!!!!!!!"
6)Shubbu ,the ran**:The favourite and the most sought after maal of the institute with his/her trademark walks and jhatkaas.Complaints have been received regarding low customer satisfaction but they are blatantly turned a blind eye to and the business proceeds as usual with overtime being done nowadays due to some expenses incurred(namely the REGOL fine)
7)Sushi:Men describe him as their ideal,women call him the best thing that has ever happened to them.But he goes on fully aware that the slightest compalcency will render the world at the mercy of the 6 abovementioned nukes.Infact so great is his greatness that he refuses to put water on the body for weeks at a time,a fact that does not go down well with the mortal souls who dwell with him.............hail the LONE RANGER!!!!!!!
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