PS 3’s and Xbox 360’s galore! Outdoor activities have been all but pastiched. Children prefer to play FIFA rather than jog a few hundred metres and learn dribbling. Never mind they might not be able to hold the ball the proper way, but they can execute a “between the legs” layup with precision on the console. Avoiding a tennis elbow is a far fetched reality so they might as well become Fedex and beat the crap out of the Djokovics on the Wii.
Luckily, I can say I have no such fetishes. For starters I come from a family with a very rich sporting background. Dad is 46 but still manages to beat me in Tennis. Not that I’m a great player or anything but I think its no mean feat. Personally I think, no game comes even close to basketball when it comes to the amount of hardwork required!! THAT’s a complete game. But if I were to watch anything, hands down football would win anytime….
Football has been an integral part of my life since the days I can barely remember. It had to be. I grew up in dad’s lap while he showered praises on the Rossis, Baggios, Mathauses et al. It was only natural that I took up football as my favourite sport during the early school days and grew up to worship the greatest team on Earth: Manchester United!
As I write this blog it is 28 hours to the Champions League final, THE most important match in the footballing calendar as far as club playing goes. And I cant help looking back to the my journey as a Red Devil for the past 12 years. Nostalgia fills me when I think about the Fergie years right from the days of the self proclaimed GOD, Cantona to who everyone proclaims GOD, Ronaldo!
Again I would dive deep into the bag of footballing clichés and say that I like Man Utd because they play the beautiful game the beautiful way and then back it up with trophies at regular (read:short) intervals. It’s a treat to watch them play at The Theatre of Dreams and demolish the oppositions with their one-two’s, their overlaps, their deft touches, their longballs…..there isn’t much that the Devils can’t do on their day.
The Busby Babes, the Bests, the Fergusons….these sort of stories happen all the time as far as the sporting world goes but the panache with which Old Trafford calls these its own is something no one can deny. That is part of the reason that makes this club so attractive.
So I cut it out here….hoping to increase the fanbase of this club from whatever little readership my blog has!
Manchester United will demolish the noveau riche Chelsea tomorrow!
GLORY GLORY MANCHESTER UNITED!!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
The Cliché College Blog..
The summer vacations have started and I guess, blogosphere will now have to bear with my more frequent visits. Moving on then, I find myself today commenting upon today’s college culture. And I admit, moving forward from my usually “narrative” genre of blogs is a step into the unknown.
Like always, let me tell you the inspiration behind this post. Well, this goes out to all of the hundreds of people who have gone “AAAH! NICE” when it is mentioned I study in an IIT. To which I generally think “I’ll trade places anytime…wannacome?” Its not that I hate college life or anything. Quite the opposite, I enjoy my college more than any of my varied living experiences so far. But I’d like to see things from a satirical point of view asto how far people come after school and going to a college.
I think most people who will read this blog are or have been college students. So, most of the readers would agree that once you come into a college, whatever thinking you had during “good old days” goes for a toss, when you are thrown in the college curriculum headfirst.
Personally speaking, I found my initial college days to be straight out from the initial chapters of Chronicles of Narnia. The huge institute, unknown surroundings and not to mention the dreaded ragging season promised to leave a permanent scar in what was otherwise a nice cool monsoon during the first week of August. Move ahead 15 days or so and all the first yearites settle down into becoming the quintessential collegians.
Of course, the abovementioned changing scenario is less drastic in nature in the day boarding colleges, but I think, the underlying scenario remains the same. Those previous thoughts of “which college to go to?” start seeming trivial and are replaced by the “more serious” thoughts about the immediate future after graduation.
Then come the sophomore days, where for the first few months you feel as the king of the world for you are the most dreaded entity in the campus due to your 2nd yearite tag.
American sitcoms, Hollywood bombshells and pondiyaap galore. Students drift from their families. (I’m not saying it in a derogatory manner, I think it goes a long way in making students independent.) To the fortunate few, there starts a blooming love life. ( In our cases, you can rule out the possibilities of an in-campus romance. There aren’t just that many girls….an oft repeated and a legendary fact about IIT’s) some souls experiment with drugs and the list is practically never ending!!
Then there remain some who( some, myself included, call “Mr. Goody two shoes”) remain the epitome of sincerity carried forward from their schooldays. To say that I despise them or am jealous of them would be a gross error. It is they who have aroused feelings that I hitherto considered non-existent. Simply said, I cant put that feeling in any category. You see them and think simultaneously:
1) They’re missing out on so much that college life offers. (Yes, I even call snorting drugs “a thing that college offers”.)
2) Oh who am I kidding? They’re everything that you want to be: the typical nice guys.
Seeing as I haven’t managed the second part during my stay here, I think the former outweighs the latter, at least in my case.
All of a sudden, a 25% score in tests seems harmless (it definitely would have looked suicidal while I was in school). All said and done, I think I’ll take the opportunity here to answer a very cliché question: What would you do, if u were given a chance to relive your college life? I think my answer would be: No regrets!!
Like always, let me tell you the inspiration behind this post. Well, this goes out to all of the hundreds of people who have gone “AAAH! NICE” when it is mentioned I study in an IIT. To which I generally think “I’ll trade places anytime…wannacome?” Its not that I hate college life or anything. Quite the opposite, I enjoy my college more than any of my varied living experiences so far. But I’d like to see things from a satirical point of view asto how far people come after school and going to a college.
I think most people who will read this blog are or have been college students. So, most of the readers would agree that once you come into a college, whatever thinking you had during “good old days” goes for a toss, when you are thrown in the college curriculum headfirst.
Personally speaking, I found my initial college days to be straight out from the initial chapters of Chronicles of Narnia. The huge institute, unknown surroundings and not to mention the dreaded ragging season promised to leave a permanent scar in what was otherwise a nice cool monsoon during the first week of August. Move ahead 15 days or so and all the first yearites settle down into becoming the quintessential collegians.
Of course, the abovementioned changing scenario is less drastic in nature in the day boarding colleges, but I think, the underlying scenario remains the same. Those previous thoughts of “which college to go to?” start seeming trivial and are replaced by the “more serious” thoughts about the immediate future after graduation.
Then come the sophomore days, where for the first few months you feel as the king of the world for you are the most dreaded entity in the campus due to your 2nd yearite tag.
American sitcoms, Hollywood bombshells and pondiyaap galore. Students drift from their families. (I’m not saying it in a derogatory manner, I think it goes a long way in making students independent.) To the fortunate few, there starts a blooming love life. ( In our cases, you can rule out the possibilities of an in-campus romance. There aren’t just that many girls….an oft repeated and a legendary fact about IIT’s) some souls experiment with drugs and the list is practically never ending!!
Then there remain some who( some, myself included, call “Mr. Goody two shoes”) remain the epitome of sincerity carried forward from their schooldays. To say that I despise them or am jealous of them would be a gross error. It is they who have aroused feelings that I hitherto considered non-existent. Simply said, I cant put that feeling in any category. You see them and think simultaneously:
1) They’re missing out on so much that college life offers. (Yes, I even call snorting drugs “a thing that college offers”.)
2) Oh who am I kidding? They’re everything that you want to be: the typical nice guys.
Seeing as I haven’t managed the second part during my stay here, I think the former outweighs the latter, at least in my case.
All of a sudden, a 25% score in tests seems harmless (it definitely would have looked suicidal while I was in school). All said and done, I think I’ll take the opportunity here to answer a very cliché question: What would you do, if u were given a chance to relive your college life? I think my answer would be: No regrets!!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Figuratively speaking!!
I have been an avid reader throughout my life. Be it reading champaks and doga during the long train journeys as a child or maturing into reading the plethora of books that is today’s literary world (Yes even the book: “Why men don’t listen and Women can’t read maps!” counts), I have hardly had better feelings than the one I have when I stare out in the night out of the window, after reading. Its legen(obviously, you have to wait for it!)dary and awessssome at the same time!!
So much for the senti talk, now I’ll tell you the inspiration behind this blog. Once again its none other than Mr.Mohit. This time his remark was that he thought the name of the most revered entity of the insti (some call “it” the holy grail) was the name of a porn movie!!
So you see, you can see high octane philosophy and low octane perverted fun on my blog at the same time….
How are these two diametrically opposite scenes connected? Well, the correct answer is that they aren’t but as Douglas Adams would have me believe, a true man is one who can locate his towel anytime. If people fall for THAT, then my case CAN take the shape of a conspiracy. But me being a true litta, I’ll connect them through my brains which have now become expert in locating and measuring perverted behaviour among people.
I recently went to my aunt’s home. Uncle is in the army, so I witnessed first hand for the first time in my “mature” life, the living inside a cantonment. Always being the first to reach anywhere sports come into the picture, I was there when there was “Game Parade” to be held. They call the playing hours in the evening that. Uncle acquainted me with some of the officers and I ended up playing a full game of basketball with the jawans and the officers. After having been mesmerised by their air to air dunks and alley oops that would make Bryant proud, I had some light hearted chit chat with them.
Never being the ones to say three words when one will do, the officers generally are an affable lot. The conversation shifted on and on from one topic to another (trust me, the officers are every bit as classy and kick ass, as they show them in Top Gun or A Few Good Men), when I decided to delve a little into the “old school” thinking about the army, I asked one of the lady officers there: Is it tough for YOU folks out there?
Thankfully for me, she didn’t take me to be a chauvinistic pig….for the second I heard it come out of my mouth, I immediately regretted the question and duly apologised. The officers all smiled understandingly and reminded me they hear this question as many times as I might hear: Bhaisaab! Time kya ho raha hai?
I wont elaborate further on their answer, because I generally like the “moral stuff” said rather than written down…that too on MY blog!!
Have you figured out the connection?....get a grip folks, first find your TOWEL!!
So much for the senti talk, now I’ll tell you the inspiration behind this blog. Once again its none other than Mr.Mohit. This time his remark was that he thought the name of the most revered entity of the insti (some call “it” the holy grail) was the name of a porn movie!!
So you see, you can see high octane philosophy and low octane perverted fun on my blog at the same time….
How are these two diametrically opposite scenes connected? Well, the correct answer is that they aren’t but as Douglas Adams would have me believe, a true man is one who can locate his towel anytime. If people fall for THAT, then my case CAN take the shape of a conspiracy. But me being a true litta, I’ll connect them through my brains which have now become expert in locating and measuring perverted behaviour among people.
I recently went to my aunt’s home. Uncle is in the army, so I witnessed first hand for the first time in my “mature” life, the living inside a cantonment. Always being the first to reach anywhere sports come into the picture, I was there when there was “Game Parade” to be held. They call the playing hours in the evening that. Uncle acquainted me with some of the officers and I ended up playing a full game of basketball with the jawans and the officers. After having been mesmerised by their air to air dunks and alley oops that would make Bryant proud, I had some light hearted chit chat with them.
Never being the ones to say three words when one will do, the officers generally are an affable lot. The conversation shifted on and on from one topic to another (trust me, the officers are every bit as classy and kick ass, as they show them in Top Gun or A Few Good Men), when I decided to delve a little into the “old school” thinking about the army, I asked one of the lady officers there: Is it tough for YOU folks out there?
Thankfully for me, she didn’t take me to be a chauvinistic pig….for the second I heard it come out of my mouth, I immediately regretted the question and duly apologised. The officers all smiled understandingly and reminded me they hear this question as many times as I might hear: Bhaisaab! Time kya ho raha hai?
I wont elaborate further on their answer, because I generally like the “moral stuff” said rather than written down…that too on MY blog!!
Have you figured out the connection?....get a grip folks, first find your TOWEL!!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Life in the fast lane....
Life has been a blurred blur for the past one month. I guess that alone would be an ideal excuse asto why there hasn’t been another one of those “blasphemous”(in the literary circles) and “cool”(in the non-literary ones) entry on my much revered blogsite.
So after the ShARING with D- skul, there has been much hulabaloo in my curriculum. It all started with the rockclimbing course in Nainital. We had gone their expecting a 5 day trip to an amusement park. But Murphy’s Law hit us big time to ruin all our hopes of checking out girls on the maal road. We were told that it was a proper course with a project to be done and a full frontal written test to be cleared if we wanted to avoid a back, if you will. There went our holidays for a blast…..
While returning from Nainital, I ate in succession golgappas, sugarcane juice and had some tea too. All these combined in my stomach to create a highly exo- reaction. I only somehow managed to reach roorkee dry!!!!
After recuperating for about 8 hrs, I left for my uncle’s place in Agra to celebrate holi(my own being too far to com back from in 3 days)…again, all my hopes of having a peaceful coupla days went for a toss!!!! I realised that family can be more lethal while playing holi with, my mausis being the biggest culprits. I was declared the guest of honour and paraded around in the lane on everyone’s shoulders. The trip had its more civilised momnets when I visited the Amar Vilas, reportedly the sixth best hotel in the world.
Back to R-land now, and it seemed the vocabulary of people had been reduced to only one word, COGNI. Myself, I had planned to organise a quiz, and add to it I was also part of the HelpDesk which looks after the trivial queries of the participants. Some of the queries included: Why is this year’s cogni worse than last year’s? , Is there no couple event sorta thing in your techfest?.....heaven’s helpme!!!!
My quiz turned out to be quite a (not phenomenal) success with appreciation from ane and all regarding my choice of questions. However, the review letter the next day went on to say that the quiz was the worst of its kindd. I receive criticism rather appreciatively, so I have only decided to piece the author into 2 whenever I meet him/her.
Cognizance was over yesterday and there you go…. I, as a dutiful citizen of the blogging world have upheld my duty of updating you all with my life, as we know it!!!!
p.s.- I am as surprised as you are asto why I have written this blog so solemnly!!
So after the ShARING with D- skul, there has been much hulabaloo in my curriculum. It all started with the rockclimbing course in Nainital. We had gone their expecting a 5 day trip to an amusement park. But Murphy’s Law hit us big time to ruin all our hopes of checking out girls on the maal road. We were told that it was a proper course with a project to be done and a full frontal written test to be cleared if we wanted to avoid a back, if you will. There went our holidays for a blast…..
While returning from Nainital, I ate in succession golgappas, sugarcane juice and had some tea too. All these combined in my stomach to create a highly exo- reaction. I only somehow managed to reach roorkee dry!!!!
After recuperating for about 8 hrs, I left for my uncle’s place in Agra to celebrate holi(my own being too far to com back from in 3 days)…again, all my hopes of having a peaceful coupla days went for a toss!!!! I realised that family can be more lethal while playing holi with, my mausis being the biggest culprits. I was declared the guest of honour and paraded around in the lane on everyone’s shoulders. The trip had its more civilised momnets when I visited the Amar Vilas, reportedly the sixth best hotel in the world.
Back to R-land now, and it seemed the vocabulary of people had been reduced to only one word, COGNI. Myself, I had planned to organise a quiz, and add to it I was also part of the HelpDesk which looks after the trivial queries of the participants. Some of the queries included: Why is this year’s cogni worse than last year’s? , Is there no couple event sorta thing in your techfest?.....heaven’s helpme!!!!
My quiz turned out to be quite a (not phenomenal) success with appreciation from ane and all regarding my choice of questions. However, the review letter the next day went on to say that the quiz was the worst of its kindd. I receive criticism rather appreciatively, so I have only decided to piece the author into 2 whenever I meet him/her.
Cognizance was over yesterday and there you go…. I, as a dutiful citizen of the blogging world have upheld my duty of updating you all with my life, as we know it!!!!
p.s.- I am as surprised as you are asto why I have written this blog so solemnly!!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
ShAREing with D (s) Kul!!!!
“Aren’t the DSE guys supposed to be a bunch of moronic geeks?”
“Isnt it the same college that associates itself with the likes of Amartya Sen and Manmohan Singh?”
The aforementioned were only some of the queries that came to mind when it was informed that there was to be a team building session between IITR and DSE. The event was supposed to take place in R-land and everyone seemed to be working towards it with a passion that would surely have outdone the passion that Miss Hilton has for videotapes. More about “Miss Hilton” later. I, personally, was given the seemingly easy task of organising the team building activities. But then again I suppose, I ought to write more about the visiting college seeing that many of them would be reading my otherwise very unread blog now. (I thank the self proclaimed “pig”, Akshay Wahal for revealing the highly grotesque details of my blogsite.)
The event kicked off with the intros of every DSE student. Again the stage was being anchored by the “pig” so some unfortunate souls were asked out and one really hapless one was compared to Miss Hilton.( The “pig” gave some pathetic pj reason behind that, that had to do something with Miss Hilton owning hotels and stuff.) Their “LORD OF THE GEEKS”,(their equivalent of our very own Mathew Kurien) was trashed a lot (asif the geeks arent trashed everywhere!!!!). I wont give out his name, or else his geekiness might pursue him to sue me in ‘the international court of justice for the geeks’. One “poet” read out a four-liner which went a mile above my otherwise very sharp brain. Though she did, clarify the meaning with finese.
Then came our intros and they had a charm of their own, Mohit’s included calling himself a hallucinator and another guy’s included calling himself above 90 kgs.
We started the games then and the first one was pictionary. Eminent personalities included were “Herr Hitler” aka Sunny Jain, The Lord of the Geeks, Pamela Anderson and the likes. The real fun kicked in during the second game, the dumbcharades (the game which I had planned was vetoed out by the audience calling it too LitSecy……I think I now understand why the literary section is one of the most envied section in the insti.) with movies like “Peticoat mein visphot” and “Jab ghar mein ho saali to har raat diwali” being given and guessed correctly. When we were all leaving the S.N.Bose Auditorium (GOD bless his soul!!), Ritika told me we better cleanup the blackboard, which by then, had on it, the images of Pamela, Paris and many other stars that were in no way related to the physics department.
We had lunch then where I got to know many people ( the poetess and the CAT rapist included.) . After the sumptuous lunch we kicked them around our institute showing off our heritage. If not for them, I wudnt have delved into sections of library I hitherto thought didn’t exist. My relationship with library is a matter for another blog sometime else. THEN CAME THE SPORTS.
Ek bande ne shirt utaari, ek bande ne pant utaari aur teesre ne to bina kuch utaare hi humaari maarli!!!!! We, that is to say, IITR got trashed 4-1 in football. My contribution being a cross that would get the envy of Beckham, which was turned into the solitary goal that we managed to score.
I cut short the dinner on account for the fact that Herr Hitler himself had asked for a presentation next day. Anyways, day made memorable when MAN U thrashed fulham by THREE goals to nil and Arsehols only managed a DRAW. Yipee!!!!
We went rafting the next day, I for the first time swam in as fast a river. Jumped around 20 feet into the river. The more said the less about rafting.
The bus trips to and fro from Rishikesh were the most happening ones. I exhibit my singing talent to the extremely unfortunate ones who live in my hostel wing. There have been complaints registered with the warden I suppose regarding my riyaaz timings. So I didn’t enthusiastically participate in the antakshari fever that had gripped the bus. I was much more engrossed in i-tunes blasting in my ear and hear much more adept singers singing than the “singers” singing in the bus.
Fun though it might have been the whole weekend, I’d like to qoute Green Day as my parting words to all DSE members:
“Its something unpredictable, but in the end its right. I hope you had the times of your lives.”
“Isnt it the same college that associates itself with the likes of Amartya Sen and Manmohan Singh?”
The aforementioned were only some of the queries that came to mind when it was informed that there was to be a team building session between IITR and DSE. The event was supposed to take place in R-land and everyone seemed to be working towards it with a passion that would surely have outdone the passion that Miss Hilton has for videotapes. More about “Miss Hilton” later. I, personally, was given the seemingly easy task of organising the team building activities. But then again I suppose, I ought to write more about the visiting college seeing that many of them would be reading my otherwise very unread blog now. (I thank the self proclaimed “pig”, Akshay Wahal for revealing the highly grotesque details of my blogsite.)
The event kicked off with the intros of every DSE student. Again the stage was being anchored by the “pig” so some unfortunate souls were asked out and one really hapless one was compared to Miss Hilton.( The “pig” gave some pathetic pj reason behind that, that had to do something with Miss Hilton owning hotels and stuff.) Their “LORD OF THE GEEKS”,(their equivalent of our very own Mathew Kurien) was trashed a lot (asif the geeks arent trashed everywhere!!!!). I wont give out his name, or else his geekiness might pursue him to sue me in ‘the international court of justice for the geeks’. One “poet” read out a four-liner which went a mile above my otherwise very sharp brain. Though she did, clarify the meaning with finese.
Then came our intros and they had a charm of their own, Mohit’s included calling himself a hallucinator and another guy’s included calling himself above 90 kgs.
We started the games then and the first one was pictionary. Eminent personalities included were “Herr Hitler” aka Sunny Jain, The Lord of the Geeks, Pamela Anderson and the likes. The real fun kicked in during the second game, the dumbcharades (the game which I had planned was vetoed out by the audience calling it too LitSecy……I think I now understand why the literary section is one of the most envied section in the insti.) with movies like “Peticoat mein visphot” and “Jab ghar mein ho saali to har raat diwali” being given and guessed correctly. When we were all leaving the S.N.Bose Auditorium (GOD bless his soul!!), Ritika told me we better cleanup the blackboard, which by then, had on it, the images of Pamela, Paris and many other stars that were in no way related to the physics department.
We had lunch then where I got to know many people ( the poetess and the CAT rapist included.) . After the sumptuous lunch we kicked them around our institute showing off our heritage. If not for them, I wudnt have delved into sections of library I hitherto thought didn’t exist. My relationship with library is a matter for another blog sometime else. THEN CAME THE SPORTS.
Ek bande ne shirt utaari, ek bande ne pant utaari aur teesre ne to bina kuch utaare hi humaari maarli!!!!! We, that is to say, IITR got trashed 4-1 in football. My contribution being a cross that would get the envy of Beckham, which was turned into the solitary goal that we managed to score.
I cut short the dinner on account for the fact that Herr Hitler himself had asked for a presentation next day. Anyways, day made memorable when MAN U thrashed fulham by THREE goals to nil and Arsehols only managed a DRAW. Yipee!!!!
We went rafting the next day, I for the first time swam in as fast a river. Jumped around 20 feet into the river. The more said the less about rafting.
The bus trips to and fro from Rishikesh were the most happening ones. I exhibit my singing talent to the extremely unfortunate ones who live in my hostel wing. There have been complaints registered with the warden I suppose regarding my riyaaz timings. So I didn’t enthusiastically participate in the antakshari fever that had gripped the bus. I was much more engrossed in i-tunes blasting in my ear and hear much more adept singers singing than the “singers” singing in the bus.
Fun though it might have been the whole weekend, I’d like to qoute Green Day as my parting words to all DSE members:
“Its something unpredictable, but in the end its right. I hope you had the times of your lives.”
Saturday, February 23, 2008
THE RETURN TO INNOCENCE....
My blogs are generally narratives in the truest sense of the word. Other bloggers in R-land write on a gamut of subjects but I (although I am a good quizzer and boast an awesome GK) generally abstain from writing on debatable topics and stick to describing to the happenings in my very happening life. Also my use of vaocabulary is much more down to earth(a soft way of saying I am not a walking dictionary) rather than filled with frills which Shakespeare himself might have problems fathoming.
But after having noticed the latest blog entries(my own "Bareilly ke bazaar mein..." included), one can say that "sentiyaapa" has crept in, nay, forced its way in the mind of a typical Thomsonian. Be it Lefty's "Nice guys finish last" or Dela's "Il joga bonito" and "Growing down?" emotions seem to running rather high in an otherwise chilly winter. Believe me, I can still crack jokes which have people in splits but somehow that jolly air is missing.
So its after much convincing my otherwise nympho brain that I finally sit down to write a senti blog.
Lately, (as my faithful blog readers might know) I had the chance to first hand experience the working of a full fledged, angst ridden, pathetic excuse for public service,government office. The one thing I found common in all the people that walked the rooms in that particular walk you would definitely associate with tension is that they probably were thinking about other hurdles after this one was crossed. That was it. They looked asif they had nothing to look forward in life. I had to count myself as not one of those, afterall I had a FA cup Man U - Arsenal match to look forward to.(trivial, some might say).
People go on just for the sake of going on. Even in the campus, the case is not much different, as I later realised. Its all about the same things over and over again. Kiska placement kahan lagega? or Kiska CAT clear hoga? or Kiska GRE accha jaega? During my course of two years I have met many (whom i'd rather call hapless) souls who seem to recite the aforementioned three sentences only.
Now, it seemed that FA cup match was really a thing to look forward to. Puts things into perspective , it really does. Maybe it isnt about a six figure pay packet or an MBA or whatever.....
because after a lot of introspection I found that the one person whom I most wanted to become was someone like Lefty's mom. Someone who at fifty or sixty or seventy write blogs, which would still crack up the teenagers.
But after having noticed the latest blog entries(my own "Bareilly ke bazaar mein..." included), one can say that "sentiyaapa" has crept in, nay, forced its way in the mind of a typical Thomsonian. Be it Lefty's "Nice guys finish last" or Dela's "Il joga bonito" and "Growing down?" emotions seem to running rather high in an otherwise chilly winter. Believe me, I can still crack jokes which have people in splits but somehow that jolly air is missing.
So its after much convincing my otherwise nympho brain that I finally sit down to write a senti blog.
Lately, (as my faithful blog readers might know) I had the chance to first hand experience the working of a full fledged, angst ridden, pathetic excuse for public service,government office. The one thing I found common in all the people that walked the rooms in that particular walk you would definitely associate with tension is that they probably were thinking about other hurdles after this one was crossed. That was it. They looked asif they had nothing to look forward in life. I had to count myself as not one of those, afterall I had a FA cup Man U - Arsenal match to look forward to.(trivial, some might say).
People go on just for the sake of going on. Even in the campus, the case is not much different, as I later realised. Its all about the same things over and over again. Kiska placement kahan lagega? or Kiska CAT clear hoga? or Kiska GRE accha jaega? During my course of two years I have met many (whom i'd rather call hapless) souls who seem to recite the aforementioned three sentences only.
Now, it seemed that FA cup match was really a thing to look forward to. Puts things into perspective , it really does. Maybe it isnt about a six figure pay packet or an MBA or whatever.....
because after a lot of introspection I found that the one person whom I most wanted to become was someone like Lefty's mom. Someone who at fifty or sixty or seventy write blogs, which would still crack up the teenagers.
Bareilly ke bazaar mein.........
My long hiatus due to certain, words don’t describe them, events which are to be narrated below. Please bear with me if you feel I am gettimg too technical.
There was suddenly an outburst of oppurtunities in R-land through which “students” could venture abroad. Sushi happened to come across one of them and he gladly took up the offer thinking about the country that was to be bestowed upon by the visit of inaurguably the greatest person to grace the Earth since the Laurel-Hardy duo. However the events that transpired afterwards shattered my self righteous nature. (Shattered, I think, is too weak a term, annhilated would be more appropriate.)
The first task that had to be performed was to get a passport. The previous sentence had 13 words. Well 13 was exactly how the whole thing went, extremely unlucky. Six people (who have now turned into zombies) went together to the land of madness, Bareilly to get their tatkal passport. The first real (some might call it awesome) thing that happened to us was our trip in the general comparment which has made my nose defunct I think. People were everywhere. Trust me you don’t want me to elaborate on my “everywhere”. It was a very tiring overnight journey so……….
DAY 1
No sooner had we gotten near the passport office, we were drowned in a slurry of “helpers” who according to themselves could do anything. One of them went ahead and said: Shaam tak passport aapke haath mein hoga. Paanch hazaar lagenge.
We didn’t think even once before walking away. Unfortunately being a student (family background, disregarding) doesn’t give you that much luxury financially.
The humunguosly huge passport form was filled out and just when it looked things would go smoothly, came the first bombshell. There is this document called the verification form that you need to fill out and get it attested by a high ( and by high , I mean there would be around 1000 people in the whole of India with that much authority) authority. The catch was you had to get 2 copies attested. Our over sized brains thought, 1 attested and the other its photocopy. Hearing this news, one thought simultaneously raced through our minds: We COULD jump of the roof. (We had done that much to get the verification form, you see.)
After a brainstorm, that surely would have outwitted Einstein, we got two sets of the required documents transported from Roorkee through, behold yourself, a TTE who was on a train from Haridwar to Bareilly. We meanwhile, passed the time by watching “Sunday”, a pathetic excuse for a comedy movie. I still have nightmares about the PJ’s cracked in the movie. We received our forms late in the night, where we were so politely reminded by the TTE that he was not a postman. We were very close to a tantrum. So we reminded him that by taking a hundred bucks from our friend in Haridwar, he had done exactly what a postman would do. We IITians can seriously kick ass when we need to. Later that night, I had my first anger outburst of my life when I shouted at some poor soul who kept on petchering us asto which was a good hotel. Like Ed Norton said: Babies don’t sleep this well. That’s how we slept that night
DAY 2
We reached the passport office again and did the necessary formalities. They say the main thing to do when you are getting a tatkal is convince the passport officer that you really need the passport urgently. Passport officers are civil services exam qualified and that too in the Foreign category, the toughest to clear. So they are generally, witty enough, not to be taken for rides. One of the few instances where, phatte don’t work. Inspite of our best efforts and convincing, he gave us the collection date of a week later. Lowblow. But again we werent to be outdone. We brought REAL tears to our (what we hoped would be) innocent faces and gave him the senti treatment. Result: We got the delivery dates of the next day.
We slept rather peacefully that night.
DAY 3
Again the ghosts returned to haunt us when we found out that the person who had attested our verification forms wanst high enough in power for them. We told them he was an IPS (They qualify to sign the document) but they wanted some proof of that. Just read asto what happened next.
We googled his name. We got a webpage which listed IPS officers of his batch. We got a printout of that page. Howsatt for innovation? This (much to my surprise though) convinced the officer and he gave us the go ahead. There werent now many hurdles remaining. So when the first one among us got the passport, we really got carried away and gave him bumps inside the office. Security was called to immediately get us thrown out. We treated them the 25-bucks’ style and in the end just 5 minutes before the scheduled close of the office, the last one among us got the passport.
I doubt I’ll feel this happy even if Nicole Kidman proposed me.
After a 10 hr back breaking bus journey (yeah, we didn’t have the guts to face another trip in the general compartment) we reached our cosy hostel rooms.
We really had travelled miles before we slept. And boy oh boy, we slept after that.
(Personally my woes continued as I got diarrhoea for the next 3 days. Normality it seems has been finally restored as I’m now feeling quite at ease typing this, once again, immensely long and boring post.)
There was suddenly an outburst of oppurtunities in R-land through which “students” could venture abroad. Sushi happened to come across one of them and he gladly took up the offer thinking about the country that was to be bestowed upon by the visit of inaurguably the greatest person to grace the Earth since the Laurel-Hardy duo. However the events that transpired afterwards shattered my self righteous nature. (Shattered, I think, is too weak a term, annhilated would be more appropriate.)
The first task that had to be performed was to get a passport. The previous sentence had 13 words. Well 13 was exactly how the whole thing went, extremely unlucky. Six people (who have now turned into zombies) went together to the land of madness, Bareilly to get their tatkal passport. The first real (some might call it awesome) thing that happened to us was our trip in the general comparment which has made my nose defunct I think. People were everywhere. Trust me you don’t want me to elaborate on my “everywhere”. It was a very tiring overnight journey so……….
DAY 1
No sooner had we gotten near the passport office, we were drowned in a slurry of “helpers” who according to themselves could do anything. One of them went ahead and said: Shaam tak passport aapke haath mein hoga. Paanch hazaar lagenge.
We didn’t think even once before walking away. Unfortunately being a student (family background, disregarding) doesn’t give you that much luxury financially.
The humunguosly huge passport form was filled out and just when it looked things would go smoothly, came the first bombshell. There is this document called the verification form that you need to fill out and get it attested by a high ( and by high , I mean there would be around 1000 people in the whole of India with that much authority) authority. The catch was you had to get 2 copies attested. Our over sized brains thought, 1 attested and the other its photocopy. Hearing this news, one thought simultaneously raced through our minds: We COULD jump of the roof. (We had done that much to get the verification form, you see.)
After a brainstorm, that surely would have outwitted Einstein, we got two sets of the required documents transported from Roorkee through, behold yourself, a TTE who was on a train from Haridwar to Bareilly. We meanwhile, passed the time by watching “Sunday”, a pathetic excuse for a comedy movie. I still have nightmares about the PJ’s cracked in the movie. We received our forms late in the night, where we were so politely reminded by the TTE that he was not a postman. We were very close to a tantrum. So we reminded him that by taking a hundred bucks from our friend in Haridwar, he had done exactly what a postman would do. We IITians can seriously kick ass when we need to. Later that night, I had my first anger outburst of my life when I shouted at some poor soul who kept on petchering us asto which was a good hotel. Like Ed Norton said: Babies don’t sleep this well. That’s how we slept that night
DAY 2
We reached the passport office again and did the necessary formalities. They say the main thing to do when you are getting a tatkal is convince the passport officer that you really need the passport urgently. Passport officers are civil services exam qualified and that too in the Foreign category, the toughest to clear. So they are generally, witty enough, not to be taken for rides. One of the few instances where, phatte don’t work. Inspite of our best efforts and convincing, he gave us the collection date of a week later. Lowblow. But again we werent to be outdone. We brought REAL tears to our (what we hoped would be) innocent faces and gave him the senti treatment. Result: We got the delivery dates of the next day.
We slept rather peacefully that night.
DAY 3
Again the ghosts returned to haunt us when we found out that the person who had attested our verification forms wanst high enough in power for them. We told them he was an IPS (They qualify to sign the document) but they wanted some proof of that. Just read asto what happened next.
We googled his name. We got a webpage which listed IPS officers of his batch. We got a printout of that page. Howsatt for innovation? This (much to my surprise though) convinced the officer and he gave us the go ahead. There werent now many hurdles remaining. So when the first one among us got the passport, we really got carried away and gave him bumps inside the office. Security was called to immediately get us thrown out. We treated them the 25-bucks’ style and in the end just 5 minutes before the scheduled close of the office, the last one among us got the passport.
I doubt I’ll feel this happy even if Nicole Kidman proposed me.
After a 10 hr back breaking bus journey (yeah, we didn’t have the guts to face another trip in the general compartment) we reached our cosy hostel rooms.
We really had travelled miles before we slept. And boy oh boy, we slept after that.
(Personally my woes continued as I got diarrhoea for the next 3 days. Normality it seems has been finally restored as I’m now feeling quite at ease typing this, once again, immensely long and boring post.)
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